The Taste Of Ink
by Her Sweetness
Summary: [Oneshot] [MarikxMalik] [Malik's POV] In order to give him the confidence he needs to write this letter, Malik might need a little more than the taste of ink.


Her Sweetness: Hello…? I know! I'm supposed to be working on my other chapters, but I needed to write this! PLEASE review afterwards and tell me what you think!

* * *

The Taste Of Ink:

The rain crashes into the windowpanes. The thunder breaks and the lightning is lighting up the sky with a passionate blue and gray and the rainwater is falling off the roof and down the drainpipe and rushing out into the front yard and making disgusting, sticky mud.

And I've not heard any of it.

My yami has been gone for three days.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

But its Thursday evening now and Thursday happens to be my lucky day.

I was told that once. I don't know where or when or why. It just is. Thursday is my lucky day. And so, on my lucky day, I am sitting at my desk, chewing on the bottom of my lucky red pen, vigorously. I've been sitting in this chair for over an hour.

Just sitting here, starring at a blank sheet of paper like a tragic fool. Waiting for words.

But these words… these words won't write themselves, no, they won't.

I have to write them.

They've been locked inside too long…

My yami has been gone for three days.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

And, oh Ra, how I've missed him.

He's been gone. Way too long, he's been away from me. He's gone off to Egypt with Bakura. Somehow, they managed to get plane tickets and have left for a week, just to go back to Egypt. They'll only be gone a week… They'll be back next Monday.

But there's something…

Forever.

There's something I've been meaning to tell him for _longer_ than forever.

It's not a word.

No, it's not a word.

…

A feeling… I guess I should call it a feeling. Yes, it's a feeling that I have for him, I can't help it. Something deep inside me glows when he's around and it aches when he's not. It _aches_.

Aches.

And so I've tried to tell him. I really have been trying to tell that wonderful person what it is I'm feeling, but whenever I open my mouth…

--

"Marik…"

"Yeah, what is it?"

Sweat.

Sigh.

An arched eyebrow, "What _is_ it?"

--

But whenever I open my mouth, I can't do it. I can't…

And so here I am.

Sitting at my desk, chewing at the bottom of my lucky red pen, and starring blankly at this piece of paper. Waiting for words… Waiting for _something_.

The pen cracks again under the grinding of my teeth and this must be… what, the fifth or sixth crack? With all this chewing and cracking, there'll be no ink left. There'll be no ink left… to write him a letter.

I'm supposed to write him a letter…

Not 'supposed'. 'Supposed' means that he told me to, but he didn't. He never told me to write him, after all he'd only be gone a week. But this is the only time.

This is the only time I can say it.

Without choking.

Without stopping.

Without saying…

--

"Never mind…"

--

But the paper is blank and the taste of ink in my mouth is getting old and nasty and… I need to write. I need to drown out the sounds of my own insecurities and write, for Ra's sake… For his sake… For _our_ sake…

Write…

I take the pen out of my mouth and though it's a bit wet and chewed up, it will do. It's set down on the paper and, to both our surprises, there's a line that comes out of it… Followed by a curve… and then forms a word!

I've been here for hours and I have a word.

_Dear…(scribble) Hi, Marik… (scribble)_

_It's me, Malik. Though I bet you already knew that… I mean, Bakura's with you… who else would be writing to you? Unless it was the IRS, complaining that you stole more money… Which brings up the question of where you got the money for the plane tickets to Egypt. But…_

_Anyway… I know you'd only be gone for a week, but… sometimes it can get lonely without you, if you even believe it. It's only been three days, though… So this brings up the question of what I'll be like on the fifth day of your absence. _

_But… I wanted to tell you about lately. Because, you see… Lately… Lately has been strange. I was thinking a lot about it the other day. When I was sitting on the couch alone and you weren't there like you usually are. I was _really _lonely then. I really missed y_—

I pick the pen up and turn away from the paper. What am I writing? Why would I write this ridiculous thing to someone who lives here and will return in a matter of days?

Why?

--

"Um… Wait, Marik… I wanted to say something."

"Yes? What is it now?"

A firm glare.

Blush…

Cough.

Turning away, "I… forgot what I was going to say."

"Oh, what the hell!"

--

The pen goes back to the paper and I begin to write unrelentingly. The red ink from the bottom is spilling out on my hand but I can't stop. He needs to hear this.

All of this.

_I really missed you. I really did. No matter where I went on the day you left and the days after it, I couldn't get you out of my head. On Tuesday, I tried hanging out with Ryou and it didn't work. It didn't work…_

_But talking to Ryou always worked before when you were here. When you were here, I had someone to fall back on. I had someone who was _JUST LIKE ME._ You._

_Before you left, Marik, I had this feeling. I've been trying to explain it to myself, over and over and over again but you don't know how hard it is. You just don't. So what I've summed it up to is… a feeling. But I wish we had a word for it._

_To make what I feel into a word would be so nice…_

_What I feel is…_

_What I feel for you is probably l--_

A bolt of lightning struck extremely close by. The power's gone out and I'm sitting at my desk with my pen in the dark.

Things always happen to me.

But since Thursday is my lucky day and I've been chewing on my lucky pen, I have a way out of this bad thing. I always keep a flashlight in my drawer. So, I get up and feel my way around the room until I reach it and bring it back to the desk.

Turning it on, I've put it between my teeth and put the pen, which is almost out of ink, back to the paper.

_Love._

_But… That's a really old word. That's a horrible, old word that everyone uses. People love their dogs, for Ra's sake. You're not a pet to me, Marik, you're so much more. So instead of classifying you like some pet or project, I will let it lay as…_

_A feeling._

_A very strong feeling._

_So strong, in fact, that it's got me writing this letter. So strong that it's got me confessing everything to you. Everything._

_Marik. _

_I thought you should know that lately, I've been trying to actually say this to you. But it's so hard when you stare at me like that, as if you wait for me to say something stupid. I don't want to prove you right._

_I don't want to say anything I'll regret._

_So, I've written it instead._

_I hope you have a good time in Egypt. _

_ All the feelings in the world,_

_ Malik Ishtar._

The pen lifts and as I shake it, I find that it's all out of ink. And the clock has just struck midnight, meaning it's no longer Thursday. All my luck has run out. All my luck was given to this little letter…

I hope it really was lucky.

The envelope comes out and I fold it up and slip it in carefully. Address. Stamp. Lick it closed.

--

"Malik, if you're going to keep playing games with me, I'm going to go somewhere where you won't bug me!"

"I'm not playing games!"

A glare.

Pleading eyes.

Trying to tell you _something_.

"Okay, I'm leaving. I'll be back in a week or so."

"What? Where're you going?"

"To Egypt! Maybe I can get some time away from you calling my name then saying 'nothing' or 'I forgot'! Sheesh…"

--

I was really sorry…

But I just couldn't tell you then.

I just couldn't.

--

The rain kept pounding for hours after that. The lightning kept coming, the thunder… All these sounds that I heard so clearly, and yet the loudest sound was your voice. Over _everything_, I heard _you_.

I waited out the storm.

And that letter…

Was never mailed.


End file.
